A haste to reality

Quarrels often bring out the worst in partners, spiraling their already strained relationship. More often than not, quarrels seed that doubt; reproaching oneself, questioning their faith in their relationship, and in each other.

Mine current experience says otherwise. Everytime she returns after a "heated discussion", it just gets better. Its a knowing that she'll be waiting for my re-assuring hug, as I await hers. All it takes is for her to say "lets work it out" or "we will tide through this", and a smile lights my face.

The Adventure continues in planning for the cold weather in Europe.

Dear God

Dear God,

Is there a reason for everything? Could you give me a clue? It hurts being in the dark and guessing. Just a clue, its all I ask.

Your Son.

Hindsight is the best Foresight

"See I told you!" is, and will never be constructive. What it only does it to sink the sinker deeper into the rut, further emphasizing that the rut is where the sinker belongs. Everyone has their fair share of flaws, who loves for their flaws to be emphasised again and again? I've decided to try and adopt a noble mentality, to return kindness for malice. A shout should never be returned for a shout. Instead, return a calm resonating mellow.

I know my flaws through and through. I admit them. But you can do more for me than helping me admit them as well. I need support, understanding and a remedial plan, not a "See I told you!".

The Adventure continues on a reflection of the path ahead.

Certainty

Is there such a thing as certainty? The world in a state of flux, should only be described as transient. Your life is, same goes for your fiancee, same goes for your happiness. While we all know that things like youth and possessions are transient, do you know if your wife will last through the end? A friend's engagement ended before it start. I guess nothing is certain, at least a faith in the teaching 'What God unites, man must not divide' proves true for me. I will definitely make my choice really wisely. The Adventure continues on a bus ride to get tail lights for riding to work.

Scared

Sometimes even the Adventurer gets scared. The forces of the wild need to be listened to and respected. Its no longer about who's braver and who's afraid of what. When you're dead or scared for life, it stays that way, brave and timid alike. Its time for the Adventurer to live responsibly, its time for him to stay alive and be well, not for himself but for others who care. Sorry to have let you taste true fear on the eve.

"What if"

Life is full of what if's. What if the "what if's" really affect you? What if it affects you so much that you really give so much thought into it and reeling from some form of cowardice, you withdraw and lose what you have going so well?

What if you lose sight of the good things in life? What if you lose what you ought to appreciate? What if you realise that your parents gave so much of their life to you, only after their demise? What if you can't decide the reason for loving? What if you get forsaken for being appreciative, misunderstood when you try to explain, treated badly in return for being good hearted.

What if.

There has to be a reason, a plan. Only God knows. But He ain't letting me know about it just yet.

Hanoi

Welcome to the land of small people. Where chairs are small and tables low, where all schools have a courtyard in the centre with yellow buildings surrounding, where motorcycles park in the middle of the road with a parking attendant that squeezes your bike in a haphazard manner, where you eat rice and dishes with your back facing a 1m gap with motorcycles squeezing 2 way, where streets are organised in a way that they all sell similar products. The adventure continues with rae on a bus to an overpriced UNESCO heritage sites.

Hanoi Sleeper

The adventurer and his team mate are in an overnight train to hanoi. Nursing a food poisoning from a raw beef steak, she must be feeling terrible. I'm doing my best to ease her discomfort. On a lighter note, it seems like the adventurer is losing his sense of living out the comfort zone. Admiring 4 sleeper expensive overnight cabin, eating at restaurants, taking the xe om instead of walking. Maybe he's just enjoying the moment, thats all! The adventure continues on this train to hanoi, after dozing off whilst typing this note.

Tears in Heaven

Crying is a wonderful thing to observe. Today I saw her bare her emotion. I saw her sadness in her eyes, I saw the doubts and uncertainty she had. I hear her telling me all about her sister and how well she treats her, in dribs and drabs in between sobs. I feel her reminisce about the days gone by. I shared that moment with her. I think crying can bring 2 people closer together. It is the most raw form of emotion, unadulterated and pure. Sharing that just made me closer to her.

Then I thought back on my siblings and family. Of how I take them for granted so many times. Of how I bear grudges, returning tit for tat. Of how I would regret if I’d lose them tomorrow. Of how hypocritical it seems when I tell Rae to do everything in her power so she would not regret the tomorrow.

I have only been practicing what I preach when it comes to my mama. I should extend it to everyone else.

The Adventure continues while recovering from a bad flu that lasted through emceeing the wedding dinner.

You count the cost.

You count the cost.

The cost how many times you sent me to school,

The cost of the early morning and late night visits to the doctor,

The cost of sacrifice.

Have you pondered about the cost of counting?

The cost of negative remarks?

The cost of being calculative?

I never was like that. And I shall never become like that. I will stay happy and easy going.

The Adventurer continues on a trip to Sapa with that soulmate.

The Hard Life

I live the hard life daily. No, I do not put myself in the slums of Calcutta, nor do I live on US$1 per day. I make sure I wake up to a ice cold shower everyday, using a bar soap to lather, turning on the fan instead of the air-con. I chose it that way, I find comfort in the uncomfortable. So when life reduces me to the bare essentials, I can still find comfort and happiness there.

The Adventure continues hearing what raunchy things Rae has to say.

The Vase

Rae tells me that the vase should never be broken. Because it will never be as good as it was.

I agree.

The superglued and mended vase might appear totally like the original, but upon close inspection, hairline cracks still exist. It might be even physically stronger than the original, but the evidence of cracks still remain.

We agree to treat the vase with care, because we both know that this vase is too treasured to be broken. We also both agree that if the vase is about to topple and one party is shaking it a lil too much, the other one will rush in and and, together, save it from falling.

This is where team work becomes The Adventure.

d, depth of commitment.

dd/dt should always be positive, or at the very basal = 0. Here are some limit conditions to keep the equation d = Rt^2 + 5At + 3. Giving dd/dt = 2Rt + 5A

Since d is dependent on the 2 variables R and A, both R and A needs to be positive for dd/dt > 0.

For the above mentioned condition to be fulfilled, a common understanding needs to be established.
1. None of the 2 variables R and A shall, independently do anything to jeopardize the equation
 a.. If ever there were a scenario that R being positive would cause A to be negative and vice versa, either party would have to stop and reflect. And if it were in the minds of both variables to continue achieving dd/dt>=0, each variable would refrain from, or completely stop any action that would cause the negativity in the other party.

2. Both A and R needs to be frank with their own current feelings and insecurities when expressing them to each other. This will have to be sail despite any negativity that might be received upon verbalising.

3. Last of all, Put on Love.

The Sunday Rail Walk

I awake this early to catch a glimpse of that someone, off to the track we will go. The past month has been a fulfilling one, filled with gagging laughter and warm smiles. It has been nothing short of wonderful so far, I'd wish that it'll continue for as long as possible. On a sadder note, seeing my mama waste away mentally is the hardest thing to do. I dread the day when she doesn't recognise me anymore. Her eyes still lifely, her voice still chatty. I try my best to make her recall the things of the past, just to keep her going. I'm just happy enough to hear her talk, and to see her smile when i say something ridiculously funny. The adventure continues in the train to where Rae is.

It starts.

Reading the same line,
Even if we may be blind.
Hearing the same cleft,
Even if we may be deaf.

The New Start

I think I might have found the one,
Someone whom agreed to walk by my side,
Someone who doesn't mind my flaws and thriftiness,
Someone who I think might just weather the rain and shine.

Its you that I wake up to,
Its your laughter that I hear before I sleep.

Come what may, I said maybe in May.
Cuz in the last evening of May,
You agreed to walk beside,
Hand in hand as long as we both poissibly can.

The Good Times

The tide has changed, the time arranged. You sleep after my goodnight, and i rise with your laughter. Tis a weird arrangement, where all you do is laugh at my predicament. And strangely enough, it affects me positively. I concluded that we'll never get into a fight, cuz u know exactly when u'll lose but still maintain otherwise. I thinks its good that i can read you, sometimes like a book. But then again, there are some answers that are best left to be said by you, cuz i can only guess, but can never confirm. I think ur as unsure as i am about this, but at least we've decided to take on this story, a story with no plot.

Do I know me?

Sometimes i dunno what i'm doing. Sometimes i embark on a journey, not knowing where it leads to, not knowing how it'll turn out. U said it rightly, 'a story with no fixed plot'. That is what makes life exciting right? If we can look into the crystal ball, all mystery and suspense would be lost, wouldn't it? But when do u decide that the journey is for you? When do u decide that you're gonna stick with this particular journey no matter what happens? When will i settle, and reach a steady state. I agree with my father, everything is so fluid with me, nothing ever stays constant. I wonder if its a good trait. Definitely good for a floater, not so sure about a man to rely on. Was asked, 'do u need a gf now?' i guess i just need a good friend to grow old with. And here i am, telling a good friend of mine, about all my adventures in my love life. I wonder if she is the right one. Everything seems more or less right, more or less promising. But maybe never had the chance to consider cuz she has been attached all, and i just can't see both of us dating.

Baking vs Cooking

She likes baking, I like cooking. Could there be a possibility?

The Hosp

The accident and emergency dept in the hosp is the best place to be if u wanna learn about life. About how useless sons quarrel with their aged mother, and ask to let him die. About how families who only see each other during the new year, rally together in an instant when the matriarch falls. About how healthcare professionals give their all to serve others. I wonder when it's time for mama to go, will i suffer a loss. I guess trying to be there for her whenever i can helps. At least i can say, no regrets.