Living Out a Dream

I just remembered that I have 2 dreams. To backpack europe, and to cycle in america or australia with just a bicycle, a tent and a credit card.

I'm already living one now. Paris will be the start of this long awaited dream. Forget about counting the cost, cuz money can always be earned again, but not youth.

Minus 22

Its -22 deg outside now and I realised that my window wasn't closed properly all this while!! No wonder I always feel cold air coming in from the outside! The latch was not hooked to its proper place, so it was actually on top of the window beside it! Oh man! closed it and there was no more cold air coming in. Now I can sleep warm and sound.

Goodnight world!

The Adventure will continue in France in about a month's time!

"Son, do your best"

This was what I received when I got woken up by a missed call from Singapore. It helped me a lot. I snapped out of all my emo-ness almost immediately. I told myself not to waste my life away, and that there will always be a better tomorrow, and also that God has a plan, I just don't know it yet.

The Lappish man told us that the Lappish bread must be made with love. And its true. Check out how I did my steak on The Food!

I'm back world!! Its the same Jude, same as before! Ever the optimist, ever the joke.

The adventure continues at Joseph's kitchen for dinner.

Ash on my forehead

No, I wasn't burnt. And no, there was no fire in Linkoping.

I went for my annual Ash Wednesday mass at church. Its a day that we Catholics remember that we are made from ashes and back to ashes we will return. Anything material that we gain here on earth will be lost when we die. It teaches us to be humble, and to repent and to turn away from sin.

The mass was in total Swedish and I drifted somewhere else within that one and half hour mass. The church is where I do my reflection, and think about things. It is also where I ask questions, and pray for the well being of my family.

Today I thought about something recent that happened to me. Maybe there is a plan somewhere, but I've yet to discover it. But I asked that if it is God's will, I would like to be together with you eventually. I surrendered all to Him, and I'm now willing to accept any answer that he gives.

On a happier note, I received a postcard from my dear friend, and it makes me realise that there are still so many people that care for me. The Adventure continues!

When The Wine Runs Out

When the wine ran out, the head steward ran to Mary and told her about his problem. And Mary turned to Jesus for help. That was the first miracle at the wedding at Cana.

The wine has already ran out for me. It is the point where there is no more wine to continue the party, it is the point where the party has come to a stand still, it is the point where the guest are starting to leave. It is the point where everything is going to end. I turn to Mary and ask for help.

A miracle I said.

A miracle that will erase everything in the past and start new and strong, and in the right frame of mind too. A miracle that will realise that there is a reason for this. A miracle that things will turn out for the better.

I am praying fervently.

The Sun Has Risen

The Sun has finally risen, after shining intermittently for the last 1 year. Up till now, I still can't believe that I lived in a lie. And the greatest liar has to be myself. Is it bad to have too much optimism? Is it bad to believe in the best and persevere no matter what the circumstances might be saying? Its quite amazing how I can lie to myself so much so that it becomes real for me.

The Sun is rising now, and I know that the Sun takes away all darkness, all lies, all misplaced trust. They will vanish against the Sun's strong rays, although the Sun will be lost to darkness everyday, I'm just contented to know that winter is ending soon. That is when the Sun will shine for more hours in a day, dispelling all lies and darkness for a longer time.

I need the Sun now. It is my source of sight. It is the only guide out of this abyss.

The Silent Scream

Do you know what pain is? And the more pain receptors you have, the more pain you'll feel. Its like a knife cutting deep through your heart, so deep that you can feel your heart sink. Its so painful that you want to scream out aloud, but all you hear is silence and your mouth is wide open, tears rolling, and there is no one to share what you are feeling. You are in the dark all alone. That what pain

How is that for an Adventure? Exciting once in a lifetime experience right? Well, I asked for it! I wanted to experience everything a man can experience, including pain.

The Adventure continues. God help me.

A Lappish Tale

This story was told to me by a Lappish man when I was in Lappland.

Seeing the Aurora is like Love.
You will not know when it comes.
When it comes, you won't know it is here.
And if it comes, you won't know how long it last.
And when it goes away, you won't know which way it went.

I type this in the comfort of my room, seeing the snowflakes fall just outside my window, against the back drop of the setting Sun. The Sun is my best friend, but as it sets for this evening, I feel kinda sad that its leaving me for one night.

I'm a Sun person, my moods are directly proportional to the weather. If the weather is gloomy, I'll be gloomy. If there is clear blue skies, I'll be excited and full of energy. When the sun rises, I appreciate its warmth it brings, when it sets, I look forward to seeing it again tomorrow.

Life is a cycle, I just hope I'm on the upward longer than the downward.

Off to dinner @ eugene's. Baked rice

Dreams

There are always many places and things that The Adventurer wants to be in. Unexplored cities, small towns, parts of Europe that boast beautiful lakes and mountains, once in a lifetime experience like bungee jumping and hang gliding, a repeated trip to snowboard before the snow melts, the list goes on.

But this morning, I woke up wanting to be in my dream, wanting to be there in my dream, living in it, making it real for the time I was there. It felt surreal, so vivid that it felt almost real.

I always believe that dreams are an extension of the subconscious. And I have this way of controlling the content of my dream by thinking of that event before I doze off, and letting the unconscious mind take over when I sleep. But today is different, I wasn't thinking about that dream I had. It must have been my subconscious that took over.

In that dream, I wanted to be back in familiar soil, doing the familiar things with the familiar people. But the conscious side of me disallows. When I'm awake I want to always throw myself into new environments and be forced to survive. I want to struggle with finding my way. I want to be lost. I want to live out of my comfort zone. That is my conscious dream.

That being said, I'll be off to have my breakfast and read up on lonely planet for a mini eurotrip.

Heading to where I want to go

There is a path I created for myself, and I'm here in Europe to find that path, and walk till the end.

I went to a nearby hill to learn snowboarding today. Like all things in life, it isn't easy to go to where you want to go, or where your eyes can take you. A simple traverse on a gentle slope seemed very easy, but not when I'm on a snowboard. I had an afternoon of fun at Yxbacken, with nice weather and some not so serious crashes and a sore right bum. It was all in the name of fun. It was similar to windsurfing and it had the same thrilling adrenaline rush when you can do what seems impossible at first.

Despite all, I will always take the people I left at home wherever I go. And its them that I'm glad to have, to know that they are there, when the adventure ends.

BUT, not just yet, the Adventure has just began, and it'll continue till july 4th.

Next up, showdown porkchop dinner on monday.

Its finally working

I finally got my blog up and running with many back dated adventures yet to be written about. I shall attempt to start writing regularly, and hopefully won't be boring to read.

Adventures lined up.
Fri - Explore Norrköping
Sat - Snowboarding
Sun - Spree @ tornby


Well, shopping for cheap groceries and cooking becomes something I like to do now.